Published On:Tuesday, 18 February 2014

I am the only Aam Aadmi in this country - Arvind Kejriwal

Satire and Fun: India's only Aam aadmi - Arvind Kejriwal

Since I have joined politics, my transparency level has increased substantially. Today, if you look at me you will see I am wearing transparent clothes. Everything is transparent, even my skin is transparent. Forget my skin; even my moustache and eyebrows have become transparent. Apart from transparency, I have also adopted better governance and accountability. My body has started showing the improvement and sharply tilted from misgovernance to better governance. I give you one example; immediately after I vacated CM's chair and knowing that Indian voters are less emotional than Delhi voters, my cough had stopped automatically. As elections will come nearer, my body will start demanding Chacha Nehru topi with Aam Aadmi party slogan and as election results will come closer my body will adopt problems like cough & cold and loose motions. This kind of better governed body is must for any aam aadmi in India today. In terms of accountability, my body gives record of each and every food that I enter in it and each and every food that my body releases. If something remains in my tummy, it becomes fat that is required to be utilized for next elections.

So I am ready with my body to face the India's most corrupt, crony capitalists and communal forces. These three Cs are the biggest roadblocks in India's development. How do I recognize these three forces? Do I have some recognition system? No, I am an aam aadmi and therefore I have right to call anybody a corrupt, capitalist or communal. It is just like any other aam aadmi who talks to his friend and blames corrupt system, businessmen and politicians for all wrong things. This aam aadmi is better equipped with information by reading the news paper articles, watching news channels and reading articles by eminent Medha Patkar, Arundhati Roy kind of intellects. So after doing all these things which usually an aam aadmi does, I have decided to call all Indians (currently politicians and businessmen) corrupt and criminals. Look at Mukesh Ambani. Do you believe I have the proof against him? No, I don’t have any proof against him. It was just some news article that I have read and positively used for myself. So, theory is simple. If I start calling him continuously corrupt and crony capitalist even without proof, someday you will start believing me. This is what I have learnt from great Saint Adolf Hitler on how to change the minds of public. He changed minds of Nazis against Jews.

Now, let me introduce a concept called crony capitalism. Few stupid people say crony capitalism means nexus between businessman and politician. However, intelligent aam aadmis say that it is nexus between Gujarati businessman and Narendra Modi. So who are capitalists or say anti crony capitalists? Again it’s a simple theory, Marwari businessman who loves me. Like ** Agarwal or ** Jindal. Arithematic is simple and I believe I wouldn't require it to explain you guys; even non aam aadmi can understand that. So now platform is set and aam aadmi will take off.

Many people have asked me, I always talk about aam aadmi but who is the real aam aadmi I am fighting for. He is the real aam aadmi who is courageous, innocent, sharp, intelligent, good looking, and shrewd, non-corrupt and non crony capitalist. There is only one aam aadmi in India and that's Arvind Kejriwal. I am fighting for Arvind Kejriwal. As like everybody, excluding aam admi is corrupt, rapist, murderer and crony capitalist, I believe that nobody, excluding me is aam aadmi in India. Therefore, every non aam aadmi, non politician, non Gujarati businessman, non communal and non crony capitalist should vote me.

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