Published On:Thursday, 5 May 2016

Vijay Mallya advises Sonia and Rahul Gandhi on how to fly abroad before getting caught by CBI


Before AugustaWestland deal takes any official criminal angle and CBI starts scolding of the beneficiaries of the scam, Congress Party President Sonia Gandhi discussed steps to with liquor baron and king of old good times, Vijay Mallya on how to fly to another country exactly before gets caught by CBI or Police force of India.

"I called Vijay yesterday understanding all the nitty gritty he completed before leaving India. He told me to keep passports of both of us ready. He also asked whether I upgraded Raul baba's passport from minor to major. I told him baba is still minor. Then he told me to call all the contacts from different countries where Modi's relations sucked. He warned us not to arrive at UK as he and Lalit Modi have already completed quota of maximum people not to be extradited by the UK government. Also that would cause both of them inconvenience while enjoying their respective good times," said Sonia Gandhi in a telephonic conversation with the India Satire correspondent.

Vijay Mallya gave following to do list to Sonia and Rahul before running from the country

1. Keep passports and visa ready for the target country

2. Avoid UK and Italy. Quota is already over for UK while Italy can't provide shelter to its own citizens.

3. High probability that no country would allow Rahul to enter due to his underdeveloped IQ and weird sense of humour.

4. Choose a country whose Prime Minister or President has never taken or will not take selfie with PM Narendra Modi for example Combodia, Nigeria, Somalia, and Congo.

5. These countries (above mentioned) don't provide basic facilities such as toilets, bathroom, toothbrush, toothpaste, soaps and shampoo, which you guys would need to carry around 5-6 years of quota.

6. Check with Dawood if need arrives whether you can check into much more developed country than above, Pakistan. Live relaxed life there under the security of Pakistan army.

7. Whenever you find a right location take Siddharth Mallya with you, he really sucks. Let him enjoy the company with Rahul.




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