Published On:Monday, 29 August 2016

I liked General History, War History but hated Dates

​South Asian Humor: Bhishma Kukreti

I was brilliant students of History in primary school, middle standard school and even in marketing. Still I am brilliant Historian in my Garhwali society. The reason is simple that I liked wars, history and other accounts. You ask me any question about characteristics of any era I shall answer to your satisfaction. However, I hated specific historical dates.

I liked three chapters of history in the exams for getting distinction. First, the reasons for a king winning the war, a warrior winning a specific battle or Janta Dal party winning the 1977general election. My second favorite chapter for History exams was a King, warrior or political party losing the battle or war. My third favorite chapter in History exams was characteristics of a King rule, Dynasty Rule (Era) or Nehru –Gandhi dynasty rule in democratic India. I hated specific historical dates.

It is not that I liked history the most. It is not that History reading is my hobby. I like the most humor and satire. I am talking about getting distinction in the exams. If there were questions for the reasons for a king winning the war? There are main five reasons for winning every war, battle or election. The winner won the war because there was strong leadership having winnable strategy, there were new weapons, there were resources available for the soldiers, and there was unity among soldiers. Whether Alexander defeated Porus, British defeated Nepalese in Uttarakhand or BJP defeated Congress and other parties in 2014 general election, the above five reasons fit in all wars or battles. At least two questions were always in all history exam papers as, "Explain the reasons for -Asoka winning Kalinga, Babar winning Rana Sanga or Indira Gandhi winning 1979 election". I was expert in elaborating the above five reasons I used to get 99 % marks in those questions.

There were at least two questions in all the history exam papers as, "Explain the reasons -for Porus losing battle, Indian kings loosing war against British in 1857 or BSP loosing 2012 Uttar Pradesh assembly election". My answers for all the battle defeats would be - Weak leadership or wrong strategy, lesser resources, Bhitarghat or traitors inside the camp, no unity, and stampedes among horses / elephants, soldiers or party workers. By fitting and elaborating the above points in any defeat, I used to get 98 % marks for questions for defeat reasons.

My another favorable questions of exam papers was 'Explain Characteristics of such and such dynasty rule" If dynasty rule is perceived good I would provide five characteristics " Kings being subject oriented, Kings used to visit in night for knowing pain of subject, good administration, worked for social benefits and strong spy system" and opposite characteristics for terrible King.           The above points fit to Pandava verses Kaurvas, Mughal verses past Indian Kings and Nehru-Gandhi dynasty verses Badal or everywhere in the world history. I was able to get distinction for the questions about characteristics of a king, dynasty or chief minister.

Surprisingly, marketing history is also same as general History because marketing is nothing but war. My colleagues call me Marketing Guru because I easily can explain reasons for a brand wining and other brand loosing marketing battle.

The biggest problem was that from my childhood, I was weak in remembering dates. I always forgot  my head master's birth date for offering gifts , my class teacher's birth date for offering gifts, and  historical dates for getting passing marks.

If I would have remembered history dates I would not be science post graduate but Doctorate in History and I would be painful competitors for Romila Thapar, Irfan Habib and Arun Shorie. Historical dates stopped me becoming Communist, Nehruvadi or Saffron Historian.

Copyright@ Bhishma Kukreti, Mumbai, 2016

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