Published On:Wednesday, 28 September 2016

The Profession of Mahabharata Characters in Kaliyug

South Asian Humor: Bhishma Kukreti

Yesterday, I met Narada one of Mahabharata characters. He as usual is in information profession. Narada is with Times Now as a junior researcher and offers slip to Arnab Goswami for asking questions to debate dignities.

Narada informed me about profession of other Mahabharata Characters.

Bharat the son of Shakuntala-Dushyant is in prison. As Ram temple was locked, same way due to dispute among seculars, pseudo seculars and saffron  seculars for  using names Bharat, Hindustan or India, Bharat is presently prison till dispute is off.

 Yudhishthir is in mental hospital. Yudhishthar told the truth with proofs about his boss a minister before press. State doctors declared Yudhishthir a madman and was put in mental hospital.

Bhima could not find a godfather. Therefore, Bhima could not get chance in district wrestling competition. Now, Bhima is temporary worker with a Don of D company and does massage of the boss.

Arjun has same problem as Bhima for getting godfather in archery competition. Arjun is a peon in Archery federation.

Nakul is a makeup man with a shining TV artist.

I shall disclose about Sahdev in the last.

Guru Dronacharya is teaching in coaching classes. Guru Kripacharya is on parole as he is accused in an education scam though it was not his fault.

Duryodhan is a political consultant for dislodging opponent government.

Dussasan the famous Mahabharata rapist (Cheer Haran) is working with Mualaym Singh the believer of 'Boys make mistake in young age'

Eklavya is an archery expert but does not have certificate so, he is dish washer in a Dhaba.

Karna is in prison. He got job on the basis of reservation but Arjun complained that his parents were from royal family, government put him prison for forgery case.

Bhishma is passing the time as Advani and Dr Murli Manohar Joshi are passing the time. However, Bhishma is retired hurt Congress politician.

Dhritarashtra does not want incarnation in Kaliyug as he believes that Kaliyug media as Times Now, NDTV and Doordarshan etc are biased media and he will never get unbiased information, news and views in Kaliyug.

Krishna, Shakuni and sage Parashar do not want incarnation in Kaliyug too. They argue that they can offer consultancy, counseling or advises only to devotee. In their opinion, devotion is just opposite of Kaliyug. 

Sahadev the last Pandava has a specific characteristic that he knows the exact future but has curse that as soon as he tells the truth his head would burst. At present, Sahadev is a senior secretary with Pakistan government. Sahdev is the most frustrated person in the world.  He knows that Pakistan will divide once again but Sahadev can't tell the truth to his Pakistani bosses.

Copyright@ Bhishma Kukreti, Mumbai, 2016

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