Published On:Thursday, 17 November 2016

Water Crisis in 2075

​South Asian Humor:   Bhishma Kukreti

E-Diary - Christmas 2075

My great grandfather was lucky that on Sunday, he and his family used to wake up after eight AM. Then they used to take breakfast. His diary is with me and he wrote that on Sunday, after breakfast, they used to sleep. Then they used to take lunch at two PM and again used to go for sleep. Sunday means a sleeping day not only for them for all Indians Sunday used to be sleeping day.

However, we are not lucky as my great grandfather and his family. We have to wake at four AM on Sunday.  After waking, we wipe our face and clean eyes by special 'non-hydro' tissue paper . The wife keeps 'Thirst   Resistance Injection 'ready and we all members have to take 'Thirst Resistance Injection 'by our own. After taking 'Thirst Resistance Injection', we take Tea or Coffee alkaloid tablets as per our need. These tablets don't require water to gulp.

Exactly at four thirty AM, I watch television (the gazette is within hand watch and the screen is in the air) . Now days, there is no excitement in watching news in morning. For many years same types of news are there. Russia has been attacking its neighbors for some buckets of water. . Chechnya, Sardonic, Check, Yugoslavia are not fighting ethnic battles on daily basis but do battle for few cups of water from rivulets within the geography. Iran and Iraq are busy for water battle for many decades. One day Iraq wins and gets two buckets of water and other day Iran wins and becomes fortunate to gain one and half litter water. North and South Korea are now one country and fighting with Japan for ten buckets of water. Most of the time, Japan is winner. In Africa, now, the water battle has taken new turn. Now, in Africa, the battle is not within Kabilas (tribes) but within families for a bucket of water. Water shortage made Africa the continent of thousands countries. Every second, there is entry of new African members in UNO as families became the countries in Africa. Europe does not have Euro as currency but now, it is called Eurowater' as common currency of Europe. America is still dominating country as it along with Canada are major exporters of water to developing countries and these countries twist the under developed countries by offering them a  bottle of water in a month. Definitely, the water is not distributed to public but is used by highest authorities in the name of public benefits.

Every month, Bangladesh threatens India that if it is not given extra thirty buckets of water she will jump into Chinese camp and India has to provide extra thirty buckets of water to Bangladesh. Now a day, there is no battle for Kashmir between Pakistan and India but for Sindhu rivulet (now Sindhu River is not river but small rivulet). Due to battle along with the bank of Sindhu , both countries cant get single drop of Sindhu water but political compulsions for  both the countries keep them fighting for Sindhu rivulet.

In Indian front, there is always news about water scams by all leaders. Since, each and every leaders of all political or social organizations are engaged in water scam, no opposition party attacks other organizations or leaders for water scams. People enter into politics to get water benefits only.

After watching these boring news, I and my wife take dry bath which is very costly and we can afford this dry bath on weekly basis. As far as water bath is concerned, we Indians are fortunate that we get a bucket per person from government once in six months. The news is that in most of the countries, there is no any custom of water bath. Now a days, we don't celebrate Deepawali or Makar Sankranti festivals but the day, we gat bathing water that day is our deposal, Rakhshabandhan or Holi etc.

My wife and I see that children take dry bath on weekly basis

After dry bath, we both have to be ready for the Sunday's compulsory tasks.

I shall go to Drinking Water Ration Shop at eight AM and will get three liter water for a weak. Though, we are four members in family but according to Ration card we are six members (definitely I had to pay heavy price to public distribution officer to do so). Though, census shows that Indian population is two hundred Crores but in reality is one fifty crores because everybody show more family members than actual to get extra water.    Till four o clock I get three liters water and come back happily. In the mean time, the wife who is in the line of Cooking Water Rashion shop from eight Am will also return happily. At five PM, I shall stand in the line of Thirst Resistance injection Rashion Shop and wife will stand in the line of various food and beverage tablets Rashion shop. These tablets don't require water to gulp. At nine PM we shall return to our house as if we have won the Sindh battle.

At ten PM, we all Muhalla Wales irrespective of our religions and sects, will assemble at Jal Devi Mandir and will pray "O Jal Devi! Please bring back all those glaciers which have been wiped out due to greed of our forefathers. O! Jal Devi! Bring back the season rains"

Copyright @ Bhishma Kukreti

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