Donald Trump Challenges Kim Jong-Un In Open Sumo Wrestling Fight

Posted by Rajat Bedi | Thursday, 21 September 2017 | Posted in , , , , , , , ,

US President, Donald Trump finally challenged North Korea's head Kim Jong-Un in an open fight of sumo wrestling in a last attempt to save the world from a big human loss. To save the world, both will fight in WWE ring and would try to eliminate each other from this deadly earth and will save the world from getting into deadly combat. Kim Jong-Un has accepted the challenge while Trump has shown his excitement.

"This deadly battle is to save the planet from a full scale war between countries and loss of millions of precious humane life. Fight between us will decide the fate of the earth, who will conquer the world and who will be eliminated," said Donald Trump "I have been secretly training for past 3-4 months. First I will eliminate Kim and thereafter Pakistan's Prime Minister."

The world which is abuzz with what will happen if US and North Korea fight together showed a sigh of relief and waiting for the day when the chances of full scale nuclear war will totally be eliminated.

Lalu Searching Hope

Posted by Rajat Bedi | Tuesday, 19 September 2017 | Posted in , , , , ,

South Asian Humor, Hilarity, Satire: Bhishma Kukreti

 Lalu Yadav to Inspector General Police- O!  O! Re Darogava!

I.G.- Sir! IG …

Lalu- Chupp. I only promoted you when I was Bihar CM.

I.G.- Sir?

Lalu- I lost my Ashava Re  …

I.G.- Ashava! Ashava! That Launda  dancer Asharam ?

Lalu- Dhatt! At present don't remind me Asharam. I lost my Ashava means Hope after Ghunna Nitish deceived me.

I.G.- Oh!

Lalu- I really lost hope and now, search it immediately.

I.G.- Sir! You will have to answer some awkward, intimated, important questions …My questions and your answers will find where your hope is.

Lalu- Puch, Puch, Jabab hajir hain.

I.G.-  Do you have name?

Lalu- Murkha ! I did every sinful thing for popularizing my name.

I.G.- Do you have impressive speaking power?

Lalu- Moodh! Burmese, Pakistani and even Tamils eagerly listen my speeches just because of my attractive phrasal language.

I.G.- Can you control your mind?

Lalu- Bevkoof! I am habitual of licking my spit.

I.G.- Do you have will power for fulfilling your resolutions?

Lalu- Nasamajh! Without sankalpa (resolution) nobody can become Chief Minister.

I.G.- Do you practice focusing?

Lalu- Yes Marduva! Always I had been focusing on becoming Prime Minister but now, my focus is making my all children, daughters, in laws central ministers and state ministers.

I.G.- Do you worship Specific Knowledge ?

Lalu- You mean philosophical word- Vigyan?

I.G.-Yes  Sir.

Lalu- I always apply Vigyan philosophy for difficult jobs as creating worst situation for rivals.

I.G.- Do you worship Power?

Lalu- Murkhadhiraj! Without power above can't be attained

I.G.- You take Anna (food) ?

Lalu- Nirbhuddh ! Without Ann –Jal (food and water) you can't get power.

I.G.- Do you worship Fame and Sky is the limit ?

Lalu- Gadha ! I became famous because I worship sky is the limit.

I.G.- That clearly means you worship memory,  memorization and reminding.

Lalu- Bacche! You are right. Without knowledge of importance of memory nobody can reach where I reached.

I.G.- Eureka ! Eureka! I got where your hope is hidden.

Lalu- Where?

I.G.- In your soul.

Lalu- You! Son of a Donkey! I sold my soul the day I spread rumor that Patna University Student Leader Lalu Yadav was killed in JP Morcha.

I.G.- Means! You already sold your soul in 1974?

Lalu-Yes! I sold my soul long back.

I.G- Then, you and your family members do not need Hope but Indian citizens need Hope.

Copyright@ Bhishma Kukreti, July 28th 2017

(Based on Chhandogeya Upnishada , 7th Chapter)

Cartoonists Struggling for Stereotype Characterization

Posted by Rajat Bedi | | Posted in , , , , , ,

South Asian Humor, Hilarity, Satire: Bhishma Kukreti

I am worst in drawing; don't have sense for ratios while caricaturing and my cartoons are lousy from drawing angle. However, my puns are sharp in Garhwali. I created more than 700 cartoons in Garhwali language copying others including R.K. Lakshman.

No doubt, I am worst in drawing but I know insight of cartooning. The soul of any cartoon is characterization of characters, situation and cartoon needs least words. Every cartoonist needs stereotype characters for creating the desired effects. However, these days, cartoonists are in great difficulty in drawing stereotype characters.

Gone  are the days, when you drew parents as a man with white dhoti, long white shirt , a black coat and a Marathi or Gandhi cap with a medium sized women wearing dhoti and blouse and even poor woman putting on lot of jewelries. Those were common symbolic characters for parents. Now, nobody wears such stereotype dresses and making difficulties for cartoonists caricaturing parents without indication. The best cartoon is where cartoonist does not tell or show by words about characters. However, Indians left their stereotype habits or culture and left cartoonist in tiresome situation for showing parents without words. 

Before 1960 or 1970, the teachers supported cartoonists, readers supported cartoonists , era supported cartoonists that cartoonist could easily show Indian teachers  as wearing black coat, kurta, dhoti , rubber sole shoes and either a handled stick hanging on shoulder, a stick on hand or an umbrella on shoulder. Now, for many decades, teachers left dressing stereotype dresses and new generation readers are unable grasping the old image of teacher in cartoons as now, teachers put on dresses as Tiger Shroff, Varun Dhawan or Nawazuddin Sidiquee  do.

Globalization brought seriousness in marketing, globalization brought seriousness in retailing but globalization brought casualness in dresses put on by teachers. Casual dressing pattern created casualties in cartooning profession. Toady's readers don't understand a naked man with Ghuttanna (half Dhoti) with plow on his shoulder as poor Indian farmer because for decades, Indians are watching farmers putting on jeans, tee shirts or casuals.

These days, barring retired but not showing as tired politicians as Advani, Joshi or Mulayam Singh no politician puts on Kurta, Dhoti, Gandhi and Cap. The new dressing culture adopted by political class making difficulties for cartoonists to draw common politicians because modern readers are unaware of such Neta dresses.

Same way, in every corner of life, there are changes and it is next to impossible for finding stereotype characters in real life that readers recognize old symbols for making aimed images as thought by cartoonists.

As a bad drawing cartoonist, I put stickers on characters for showing the exact character but as happened in past when I put 'Bhikhari' sticker showing a beard person as beggar but in reality the figure looked like a Sikh but everybody knows that a brave Sikh would die but will never accept begging. So I left caricaturing cartoons for many years.

Now, I restarted by cutting and pasting characters, situation, and place from Internet; put Garhwali punning words and create as my own cartoons. What an Idea Sir Ji!       

Copyright@: Bhishma Kukreti, July26th 2017

Changing Birth Day Celebration Practices

Posted by Rajat Bedi | | Posted in , , , , ,

South Asian Humor, Hilarity, Satire: Bhishma Kukreti

Hindus have a specialty that they don't leave old cultural practices but always add on new practice making every celebration costly with time as birthday celebration.

There was my granddaughter's first birthday on Thursday. I witnessed birth day celebration practices for four generations in my family. My father was the son of a poor farmer and so my grandmother used to celebrate his birth day with Baisakhi festival (14thApril) so that burden of birth day celebration was minimized. The additional burden was Dakshina to Pundit ji. My Tau Ji (father's elder brother) was son of a poor farmer and my grandmother used to celebrate his birthday on Makar Sankranti festival (14th January) for minimizing expenditure.

I am the son of richer man than his father. Therefore, my mother (in past my grandmother) celebrates my birthday on exact day of my birthday. We call birthday celebration as 'Barakh  Pujan' in Garhwali. Mother, wife and my daughter in laws cook auspicious food as Puri, Pakori etc. In morning, Pundit Ji performs rituals and by noon everything is over. There is no cake cutting ceremony and no other formalities for my birth day.

My son's father is not so rich man but is well-educated man and he has reputation in family, society and sales profession. Therefore, apart from 'Barakh Pujan' ceremony by Pundit Ji in morning, there is cake cutting ceremony in evening and there is gathering of family members, relatives and his friends in our house. Means, we added the additional burden of cake cutting ceremony in this generation.

My granddaughter is the granddaughter of well-educated man, daughter of working educated father and working educated  mother. Therefore, we added many more celebrating events apart from usual 'Barakh Pujan' rituals.

My sons and daughter in laws distributed invitation cards for her birth day celebration in party hall to relatives and friends and professional friends. On nineteenth night ending and beginning of twentieth July, exactly at twelve O' clock, cake cutting ceremony was performed among family members. We sang Hindi song 'Ye din bar bar aye' and English song 'Happy Birth day to Joshnika'. We did not sing song in Garhwali because; there is no song available for birth day celebration as Garhwali is poorer language by number of speakers. In morning, Pundit Ji performed the 'Barakh Pujan' rituals.

In evening, there was big gathering of more than two hundred guests for celebrating my granddaughter's birth day with all fan fairs of children programs, parents programs, cake cutting ceremony, singing birthday songs in Hindi and English and not in Garhwali, distributing gifts to children and finally dinner.

However, I am unable for forecasting the additional events for my great grandchild's birthday than my granddaughter's birth day celebrating events.  I hope I will witness my great grandchild's  birthday celebration and will tell you the details more humorous way than today. 

Copyright@ Bhishma Kukreti, July 24th 2017

Reasons for Rahul Gandhi meeting Chinese Envoys

Posted by Rajat Bedi | | Posted in , , , , ,

South Asian humor, hilarity, Satire: Bhishma Kukreti

In election period, Congress wanted media to show Rahul Gandhi but media was very busy showing Narendra Modi and never gave proper coverage to Rahul. Now, Rahul Gandhi met Chinese envoys and Congress never wanted news for his meetings with Chinese envoys but each TV channel showed 240 times the same news as breaking news as if Vishwa Hindu Parishad agreed rebuilding Babari Maszid instead Ram Mandir. There was so much hyped hype in the media for Rahul meeting Chinese envoys that my friends started calling me for telling the real reasons for Rahul meeting with Chinese envoys. Some reasons are as -

·        Rahul likes ethnic Chinese food.

·        Rahul wanted to thank Chinese government for China not being aggressive in Manmohan Singh tenor.

·        Rahul was interested in knowing about war winning deceptive strategies and tactics laid  by Sun Tzu.

·        He wanted a Chinese consultant for correcting his foolishly political comments for future.

·        He wanted understanding of communist party working in China that he could apply same to congress party working in India.

·        He is sure that he will win 2019 election, would become Indian Prime Minister and wanted smooth relation with China.

·        Rahul Gandhi wanted to know how devoted workers are created, developed and retained for old political parties.

·        Rahul wanted to know more about main opposition party's behavior in China and how to take advantages by disrupting the parliament. 

·        Rahul wants to learn how to behave with foreign delegates. 

·        Rahul wanted ethnic cough remedies for Arvind Kejariwal.

·        Rahul wanted Chinese buffalos for gifting to uncle Lalu.          

·        He wants to sell National Herald to a Chinese Business house.

·        Narendra Modi sent Rahul to Chinese envoys for resolving border issues with China thinking that now, Rahul is a mature politician.

·        Chinese envoys wanted fun and found only Rahul can make them laugh.

·        Robert Badra wants to buy land in China.

·        Robert Badra wanted to know unique land grabbing tactics in China.

·        Robert Badra wanted to sell all his legally grabbed land to Chinese businessmen.

·        There is no need for finding the reasons his meeting with Chinese envoys.


Copyright@ Bhishma Kukreti, July 23rd 2017

When the Last Page is First

Posted by Rajat Bedi | | Posted in , , , , ,

South Asian Humor, hilarity, Satire: Bhishma Kukreti

Usually, readers read first the first page of a magazine or newspaper.  However, there were a few newspapers and magazines, I used to read the last page first and I don't remember when I read a middle page first.

I started reading magazine from Dharamyug a Hindi weekly.  I spent more on Dharmayug than other magazines and Dhabbu ji a cartoon character by Abit Surti was one of reasons.  I used to turn the last age of  Dharmayug  first for reading comic strip  Dhabbu ji. ' Dhabbu ji was a common man and all readers loved Dhabbu ji. That is why Dhabbu ji was in first edition of fharamyug and in last edition too.

When I was socialism influenced young boy, was fan of Indira Gandhi for her Garibi Hatao slogan ( now, I admire Trump). Then, Blitz a weekly was very popular magazine and in Dehradun, Blitz magazine in hand meant you are progressive and believed that all businessmen were looting India. I never read Blitz first page first but always read the last page first. 'Last Page' was a column by Khwaza Ahmad Abbas published on last page. His writing in his column was always for socialism, for poor and antibusiness. Abbas produced films based on his stories but were not hit. However, his films made by Raj Kapoor were blockbusters.

I don't remember I read first pages of Evening New, Mid Day or Afternoon all evening newspaperr of Mumbai .  I read Evening News because of last page 500 words column 'Round and About by  Busybee, I read Mid Day because of last page column 'Round and About' and I read Afternoon for the same reason of Round and About by Busybee. Behram Contractor was real name of Busybee. Nobody can replace Busybee from my mind for his humorous, hilarious and sarcasm writing. His satires were so humorous that Shiv Sainiks never attacked on Busybee even after he criticizing sharply Bl Thakrey. I am still struggling to put my feet in his shoes but it impossible to be another Busybee.

 However, I always started reading Times of India from first page by looking at R. K. Lakshaman cartoon 'You said it'.

Copyright@ Bhishma Kukreti, July 21st 2017

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