South Asian Humor: Bhishma Kukreti
Now days, every day in between free time from sponsored or paid news, TV news channel talk about foreign investment in retail. Since, I read in childhood that India lives in villages; I went my village for knowing the impact of FDI in retail in India.
I asked Ghungra Kaki," Aunt! Will our villages get benefits from FDI in retail?"
"Is FDI in retail is like coal mines allocations?" instead of reply she threw question.
I went further and asked Gucchi Tai (Bodi)," Bodi! Will our villages get benefits from FDI in retail?"
She asked," Is this FDI will be for villages or for cities?"
"Only for cities." I answered.
Instead of answering my question, she started running fast towards her cattle shed. I asked for her sudden running.
"Whenever there were new investments in cities; my children, nephews and neighbors ran away from village for cities for never returning to the village. I am afraid my cattle don't run towards cities for packed fodders, branded fodders and air conditioned cattle shed. I will fasten my cattle inside the shed." Running, she replied.
Frustrated, I asked retired teacher Kalika Master, "Master Ji! What about FDI in retail?"
"Where will these events take place? Kalika Master threw question.
"Due to FDI in retail, new malls, departmental stores and hyper shopping complexes will emerge in cities as Dehradun." I explained the concept of FDI in retail.
Ignoring me, Kalika Master called his Sadu Bhai in Dehradun, "Listen! Karamchand! There will be faster development in all cities after FDI in retail. There will be huge demand for land in cities as Dehradun. Yesterday, I told you for not buying that barren land in Dehradun. Now you pay advance immediately on my behalf for that land and do deal for other nearby lands too. Just now, I am starting for Dehradun and will start real estate business there."
I explained retired Havaldar Kantha Singh about FDI in retail and asked his views. Instead of answering me he called his relative in Saharanpur, "Listen! Komal! Very soon, there will be malls, super markets or shopping complexes in cities as in Saharanpur. There will be heavy demand for security men there. I am coming to Saharanpur and we will start security business in cities."
Annoyingly, I went for seeing Bhana Bada the blacksmith, explained him FDI and asked "What will be the impact of FDI in villages?"
"Oh! My God! By fast urban development, all villagers will migrate for cities. I will have to close my 'Ansal' (blacksmith small unit) here. Tomorrow, I will sell my properties here and will open an 'Ansal' (small factory) and will produce rat cages there in Dehradun. There will be heavy demand for rat cages in crowded cities" Blacksmith replied
While coming back from Bhana Bada's 'Ansal', I saw ruined houses of villagers those migrated to cities long back.
I saw rats, cats and bats were dancing, hopping and loudly singing on the house ruins.
FDI in Retails, FDI in Retails, more and more new houses in the cities
Empty villages, empty villages, more and more wracked houses in villages
Ruined villages, ruined villages, houses for rats, cats and bats,
FDI in Retails, FDI in Retails, converting villages into jungles
Copyright@ Bhishma Kukreti, Mumbai, 2016