India secretly deployed nuclear bombs just below toilet seats of Pakistanis - Pakistan Foreign Office
Congress Vice President Rahul Gandhi has joined tuitions for witchcraft techniques to eliminate all the nasty things surrounded him. Taught by popular Baba Chamunda Bengali, the witchcraft techniques are highly effective in controlling the known and unknown enemies and reduce the impact of negative energies on Rahul Baba. According to Congress Party sources, Rahul Gandhi needs to something special to eliminate his enemies and reclaim the position of Prime Minister of India in the next elections and therefore for Congress Party leadership decided to send him to celebrity kala jaadu saint Baba Chamunda Bengali.
"Two days back I received the request from Congress Party High Command to help Rahul Baba learning the witchcraft techniques and remove his enemies from their existence. Yesterday, early morning at 1.00 pm Rahul Baba arrived at my door and requested me to accept him as my student," Baba Chamunda Bengali told India Satire correspondent "I will perfectly train him to conquer all his enemies, like what I did with PM Narendra Modi."
Baba Chamunda Bengali told India Satire correspondent that he will start with different uses of nimbu like nimbu maarna, nimbu daalna, nimbu kaatna. Thereafter, he will teach Rahul different mantras and tantras and their benefits. He will also tell him how to hold skull and rotate the bone to effectively depress the enemy attack and send laser beam at the same time.
"I will train him to last level of kala jaadu," Baba Chamunda Bengali said.
The above article is purely Fake News and Satire
A study conducted by Monster India confirms that work is the last thing that enthuse an employee. Study covering almost all the cities of India with 93,745 respondents stated that 99% of Indians love to spend time on free internet, person to person chatting, gossiping and de-linking house related stress at work.
"Most of them told us that office is the best place where they can relax and have rest. Work is just a time pass and perfect way to demonstrate their acting skills," Deepak Sharma, surveyor of Monster India confirmed. He told India Satire correspondent that 1% which declined to the perception that the work is last best thing they wanted to do love to act.
Prime Minister's office issued an advisory to entire nation to use Fair and Lovely fairness cream to turn white from black. The advisory came in the midnight saying start using Fair and Lovely tomorrow morning onwards like our honourable Prime Minister does.
"That way you will look white," said the advisory. A PMO source told India Satire correspondent that this was PM's surgical strike on complex of people over black skin in India.
Manish Sisodia confirms Arvind Kejriwal will continue to keep on bragging even if elected as Punjab Chief Minister
Manish Sisodia who yesterday said that Delhi Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal may become Punjab Chief Minister and so on so forth was addressing the concerns of common people who were worried about their time pass will be stopped immediately after Kejriwal becomes the Punjab CM. People who love Kejriwal's funny arguments and rhetorics in between the boring Rahul Gandhi and Narendra Modi ego clashes asked Sisodia whether Kejriwal excel his character and become more serious and sensible.
Sisodia told the entire nation "Arvind knows entire nation loves him for doing some time pass. Even at home he gossips about neighbours and relatives with his family members. That's his basic nature other than some laziness in the bed. He can't leave his fundamental values even if he becomes Prime Minister of Timbak Too."
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