Rahul Gandhi's lost toy found in the cupboard of declassified files of Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose

Posted by Rajat Bedi | Thursday, 4 February 2016 | Posted in , , , , ,

In a significant event, Congress Vice President Rahul Gandhi's toy which was missing for over 35 years found on the cabinet of cupboard where files of Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose were kept. The officials who are on a 24x7 work of declassification of Netaji's files found the so-called toy which Rahul forgot in that cupboard while he was playing with Priyanka.

"Oh! Mummy my toy found inside the almira, whoopieee," said Rahul Gandhi, reacting to the development "I was searching for this favorite toy for so many years now I got it."

According to sources in the Congress Party, the toy was very close to Rahul's heart and since he lost it he stopped drinking Complan.

"Ohhh mama miya! Thank God you got that toy. Raul Baba made my life hell to found that toy. At least now he will start drinking Complan," said Congress Party President Sonia Gandhi.

Reacting to her statement, Rahul said "I am a Complan boy!"

Arvind Kejriwal auctions his sandals; buys 20 pair of shoes

Posted by Rajat Bedi | | Posted in , , , , , ,

Delhi Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal auctioned his epic sandals with pair of socks which he wore in front of French President Francois Hollande. A group of 500 Aam Aadmi Party (AAP) karyakartas bought the pair for Rs 1 lakh. "Everybody would get a chance to wear the sandal with socks for one day," said Ashutosh Khetan, the representative of group.

According to AAP sources, Kejriwal bought 20 pair of shoes from the auction money and to further improve India's image he would wear it as a garland.

Dr.Dang closed all his ties with Pakistan after latter's denial to Anupam Kher's visa

Posted by Rajat Bedi | Tuesday, 2 February 2016 | Posted in , , , , , , , ,

In response to Pakistan's refusal to grant visa to film star Anupam Kher, head of a terror organisation Dr. Dang snapped all his ties with the former country and announced that his army would not help in any activities of Pakistan's army or terror organisation against India.

"I always respected Anupamji for his patriotism and great acting talent. He always told me to do something for the country and stop helping Pakistan. However, due to greed for money and power I supported Pakistan's terror organisations and its army. Now as the country with whom I engaged for so many years denied visa to Anupamji, I have decided to break all the ties with that country and to help  Rana Vishwa Pratap Singh  with locations of their addas," Dr Dang told India Satire correspondent.

Anupam Kher portrayed Dr Dang in hindi movie Karma since then Dang became a big follower of the movie star.

Raghuram Rajan to use pendulum for interest rate decisions

Posted by Rajat Bedi | Monday, 1 February 2016 | Posted in , , , , , ,

Reserve Bank of India Governor Raghuram Rajan has initiated a major reform in the monetary policy of India's central bank. Going forward, the RBI governor will use pendulum instead of age old policy of using tie to decide on interest rates.
"We want to bring an unconventional change to the global perception towards interest rate decisions. Process of using tie to decide on interest rate is widely accepted across the world but it is very slow. Many times my tie stuck in the middle and therefore I need to take decision of holding rates. However, with pendulum which doesn't require my collar would help us on interest rate decision. It will also bring an autonomy to RBI's executive committee of deputy governors and would decentralise the decision making, as any deputy governor could hold the pendulum in his hand," said Rajan in a press release of RBI.
Rajan told India Satire correspondent that he would use new technology of throwing coin in the air to decide who the hell (deputy governor) would hold pendulum in his hand. India's Finance Minister Arun Jaitley, financial analysts, economists and many corporate honchos welcome Rajan's decision and advised him that if he is bringing some unconventional change to monetary policy of India he should stick to it for long.

Divine light illuminated after Rahul Gandhi gave his opinion on net neutrality - Reports

Posted by Rajat Bedi | | Posted in , , , , , , ,

According to reports, a divine light immediately illuminated from Congress Vice President Rahul Gandhi's head at the students' conference after he started giving his opinion on net neutrality. Although, India Satire correspondent was not present at the event, sources said that a circular godly light started widening behind Rahul Gandhi's head and illuminated entire conference with shining white rays. The light said that Rahul has become an immortal soul and achieved God like position.

"As he opened his mouth saying net neutrality, a light just like any other Cisca LED bulbs lighting started behind his head. We saw such light in the books of Chandamama, reflecting the godliness of God or precious souls," said Chandresh Pushkar, who was present in the conference.

Pushkar continued "Thereafter, we couldn't understand a single thing what he wanted to say or what he was talking about. The light from his head itself told us that ignore all things whatever he was talking about as we are very ordinary spirits know ordinary planetary things and have little knowledge about universe."

According to Congress Party sources, it is a very normal for Rahul when he talks about something intelligent while world couldn't understand. On the other hand, BJP told India Satire correspondent that the button of an LED bulb was in Rahul's hand.

Somewhere people are working on new problems before all the problems died down in the world - Report

Posted by Rajat Bedi | | Posted in , , , ,

Somewhere in the world few people from different streams are incessantly working on finding out some new problems to face the situation of all problems dying down in the world, said a study report of India Satire newsroom.

"People are working on all sorts of issues such as new impediments and diseases, new terror organizations, communal issues, inflation and every other problem. They are concerned about how the world would revolve if there would not be any scathing issue," said the report "People from media houses are working on issues to be created to criticize and communalize, people of political parties are thinking on new issues to politicize, pharmaceutical players are thinking about developing new diseases to cure them. Everybody is working on creating some issues and problems to keep the basket of problems full for the world."


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