After Brexit, Arvind Kejriwal wants to take referendum for his exit from India

Posted by Rajat Bedi | Friday, 24 June 2016 | Posted in , , , , , , ,


​Taking cues from Britain's exit of European Union, Aam Aadmi Party Chief and Delhi's Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal asked him to throw him out of India. He said that he was willing to take referendum on his exit from India.

"Modiji mujhe bahar nikalna chahte he ji. Wo Delhi ki development nahi chahte he ji sirf aur sirf mujhse entertainment karwaana chahte hai ji. Maine unko pucha bhi ki kya mein aapko dance karke dikha du jo aap Delhi ko freedom denge ji. Toh unhone mujhe hamesha ki tarah ignore kiya ji. Mein aaj referendum leta hu ji (talking to the audience which came to listen to his speech). Kya aap mujhe Hindustan se bahar karna chaahte hai ji, ya aur kuch time tak ke liye entertainment chahte hai ji," said Kejriwal who got confused response.

An Aam Aadmi Party leader said that entire audience was confused over Arvind Kejriwal's question.

"Everyone wanted him to leave India but not at the cost of entertainment he is providing them everyday. He is the biggest time pass of the country today," AAP senior leader Ashish Khetan confirmed "Therefore, everyone was confused how to answer."

Khetan told correspondent that AAP would conduct a referendum on Kejriwal's exit soon.

He said "We will ask all Delhites, do you want entertainment or do you want him to leave India as Modiji wants him to do. People can give their votes using 'Kejriwal ka free wifi'."

British citizens feel happy they finally matter to world after years of isolation

Posted by Rajat Bedi | Thursday, 23 June 2016 | Posted in , , , , , ,


​After years of ruling and then years of isolation, finally people of Great Britain celebrated the event that helped them come to world map for a flash point of time. Many British people came on the streets and celebrated sharp fall of global equities and currencies which came just because of their decision to leave Europe.

"Wow, maal laao. Hurray, Britain finally exited and world is in red. Even Latha on CNBC TV18 looks like she wanted to cry hard for the first time. We matter to world now," said Marc Punter of Wales who closely track world markets and economies.

A farmer of the UK, David Lockhart said "First time in my life I have seen that something has moved in the world just because of the decision. Look at pound, look at euro and look at Dow Futures. Everyone is moving on my finger tips. Hey God don't wake me up from this dream. This win is against the years of abandonment by the world. Now I can remove my remaining clothes and dance naked for life with Greeks and Romans of the world."

For the first time British citizens feel proud that they also matter to the world after voting in Brexit referendum

Posted by Rajat Bedi | | Posted in , , , , , ,

After end of colonialism era, first time in their life citizens of Great Britain felt some sense of pride when they come out of polling stations after voting in Brexit referendum. 

"It is for the first time I feel that entire world is watching me. It wants to know tomorrow, which side I voted," said Alfred Hitchcock, a British worker in a steel plant said "Otherwise, my other fellow citizens sucked and fucked the pride of our country. No country in the world wanted to look at us since we ended our rule over them."

Shani Ki Mahadasha is now renamed as Swamy ki Mahadasha

Posted by Rajat Bedi | Monday, 20 June 2016 | Posted in , , , , , , , , , , ,


​Indian Government has decided to make important change in Hindu astrological education. Minister of Education, Smriti Irani announced that from today onwards, Shani Ki Mahadasha will be called as Swamy ki Mahadasha.

"Subramanian Swamy jiske peeche haat dhoke pad jaate hai uski halat Shani ki mahadasha se bhi buri ho jaati hai (The person whom Subramanian Swamy follows, faces worst crisis in his life than he might have faced under the rule of planet Shani (Saturn))," Smriti Irani said in a press conference "Planet Swamy has just forced Raghuram Rajan to resign from the post of Governor and now he will move to the house of Delhi's CM Arvind Kejriwal's kundli. Ab Arvind Kejriwalji ke sir pe Swamyji mandarayenge (Now Swamy will dance on Arvind Kejriwal's head)."


Astrologers also welcomed the government's move and told India Satire correspondent that they already started recognizing impact of Subramanian Swamy on any individual.

"It is devastating, whenever Swamy moves to seventh place of a kundli of any individual. The individual faces terrible life," Pandit Pappu Pandey told India Satire correspondent "We unofficially ousted Shani long ago, when Swamyji first attacked the Vajpayee government. As per our astrological calculations, when Swamyji born he sat on Shani Bhagwan's planet. The impact of Swamy Ki Mahadasha is worse than Shani Ki Mahadasha."

He gave following list of Examples/Victims of Swamy Ki Mahadasha

Rahul Gandhi

·         Couldn't clear 10th exam in first attempt

·         Couldn't clear 12th exam in first attempt

·         Couldn't clear graduation in first attempt

·         Couldn't clear post graduation in first attempt

·         Whatever cleared from Trinity Called was also called as fraud

Atal Behari Vajpayee

·         Wound up his government once due to Subramanian Swamy

Sonia Gandhi

·         Couldn't become Prime Minister of India

Manmohan Singh

·         Became Prime Minister of India to enter in the worst phase of his life

P Chidambaram

·         Besides 2G and Aircel-Maxis deal, he doesn't know how many cases he is facing

A Raja

·         Visit to jail for 2G thing

Sonia Gandhi and Rahul Gandhi

·         National Herald Case

Raghuram Rajan

·         Resigned from the post of RBI's Governor

Swamy Ki Mahadasha just begun for Arvind Kejriwal

·         Will first hide his mark sheet and then himself, according to Astrological predictions



Prime Minister Narendra Modi to appoint Albert Einstein as next governor of Reserve Bank of India

Posted by Rajat Bedi | Sunday, 19 June 2016 | Posted in , , , , , , , , ,

Search for better person than Raghuram Rajan for RBI Governor's post finally ended, according to a BJP source who is also close to Prime Minister Narendra Modi. The source told India Satire correspondent that Prime Minister will announce his peon, Albert Einstein's name as next governor of RBI on Yoga Day.

"Yoga day is auspicious. He had two names in his mind for the post. One was his sweeper John Maynard Keynes and the other one was his peon Albert Einstein. Modiji had a small walk in the lawn when he saw in a monthly meeting of servants, Albert telling his colleagues that under PM Modiji's government he invented general theory of relativity and thanked to Modiji for being the motivation for such a wonderful innovation. He also said in that meeting that the day whole world was seeing E=mc2 was because of PM Modi. He told the audience that m in mc2 is actually M of Modi's. In the same meeting, however, JM Keynes couldn't rightly describe his approach by bypassing Modiji's reference on the quantum of Modi's contribution to general theory of employment," BJP source said.

The source told correspondent that Einstein will be just another Modi on Governor's post.

FEXIT after REXIT? Opposition challenges Swamy to call for exit of FDI/FII investors as they are also not full-Indian

Posted by Rajat Bedi | Saturday, 18 June 2016 | Posted in , , , , , , , ,


Subramanian Swamy, the leading politician of the ruling party, who recently asked the PM's office to sack Raghuram Rajan, Governor of Reserve Bank of India (Times of India news dated May 26) and called Rajan mentally not full-Indian (Hindustan Times news dated May 26), is facing a challenge from the Opposition.


The Opposition, which had appointed Rajan during their tenure in government, counters that since the FDI and FII investors who invest in India are mostly foreigners; hence are also not full-Indian, just like Swamy's allegation against Rajan. The Opposition seems to opine that if Rajan can be termed mentally not full-Indian just because he held a US Green-card, then even the FDI and FII investors are also mentally not full-Indian since most hold foreign citizenship and so their decisions and actions may also not be in India's best interest. Their case in point is the large-scale outflows by FII investors in the current year from India, which obviously was not the best of things to happen. They added that if Swamy is unhappy with the intellect of Rajan just because of a foreign Green-card, then how he can be happy with the dollars of FDI/FII investors since they are foreign citizenship holders. It is worth noting that RBI had clarified that the current citizenship of Rajan is Indian and he holds an Indian passport (The Hindu news dated Jun 8).


The Opposition alleges a difference in what Swamy practices and preaches, since a foreign citizenship should be as much a concern as a foreign Green-card. Swamy seemed to have a negative opinion of Rajan, possibly because of his hawkish monetary policy at a time when Swamy may have wanted significant reduction in the interest rates to boost the investment cycle in the economy. However, he seemed to be happy with the dollars invested by the FDI/FII investors, since they are bringing in monies the government desires so much. If citizenship and Green-cards were the core issue for REXIT, then Swamy should have had an issue even with the foreign citizenship of FDI/FII investors. They are now challenging Swamy with FEXIT – i.e. calling for the exit of FDI/FII investors from India because of their foreign citizenship, in response to Swamy's concerns against Rajan for a foreign Green-card. Hence FEXIT, in response to REXIT!


The Opposition added that if Swamy does not pay heed to their FEXIT challenge, then it will become clear that the entire issue of foreign Green-card/citizenship, and hence of being not full-Indian, was just a curtain for the real reason. Few members of the Opposition opine that Swamy wanted to install a person close to the party as Governor, who would take decisions as per the party's wishes and not keep their own stance. They add that the reason could also be that Rajan spoke out his mind on the real issues and challenges facing the Indian economy, while Swamy may have preferred that only the good points be talked about. The irony is that they find Rajan's control of the economic situation laudable, which they themselves had partially caused during their own tenure in Government. All in all, they find Swamy's allegations baseless and now challenge him to FEXIT in response to REXIT, if he was indeed serious about Rajan not being capable for the top-job simply because he was mentally not full-Indian due to a foreign Green-card.


Rajan's recent announcement that he does not want his term extended has put global investors in a tizzy as they are concerned about the monetary policy. The Opposition ended saying if Swamy's ideal candidate who replaces Rajan is unable to control the monetary situation effectively, and the result is economic distress and slowdown in foreign investments, then it will prove that REXIT was India's loss and USA's gain.

(Reported by our special correspondent Sourajit Aiyer)

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